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It hit me all at once today in the form of sleep.

I slept through two of my classes and I don't even give a fuck that I missed them.

Maybe I'm taking on too much this semester with classes, work, being president of Improv Uknighted and being an understudy of a lead in a show.

This is the first semester that I've had a job during the actual school year. It's also the first time I've been President of a club and to top it all off I've never been a lead in a show before and since I get to play that lead at least one night I have been memorizing like a boss.

Then there is my "social" life where I'm trying to get closer to my coworkers, hang out with my UCF and Improv people and make new friends.

In this "social" life, is my "love" life where there is nothing to thrilling going on.

My past love life came up last night since I saw the cast preview of the Halloween Parade and I just wanted to cry. All my friends where excited cause it was their first time seeing the parade, whereas I just stood there in silence remembering that night where Jon and I were all cute, coupley and dressed up as Mickey and Minnie Mouse and seeing that parade for the first time.

I have been fine but now it's getting to that time where we broke up and so thoughts, feelings and things are being brought back up and it's breaking my heart all over again.

He'd told me that he'd be the one to contact me if he wanted us to talk, he hasn't, which is completely okay but I keep "waiting" in hopes that he will follow through with it and will want to speak to me but it's understandable if he doesn't ever. I'm sure I'm not on his mind at all. He is happy with Christine, and all I can do is be happy for them.

I just hate how the whole "England" thing is now their thing when it was Jon and I's thing, since ya know, I'm the British one but that's just me being petty.

I need to not care about anything with him. He was an important part of my life, he was there for all the key moments of my high school and teenage years but the key word for all of this is that he was there. He isn't anymore.

So Crystal, deal with it.

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